Saturday, May 30, 2009

Alone vs Lonely

Many years ago, I told a good friend of mine, "I feel lonely." He said, "You are alone, but not lonely. There is a huge different between two. You can feel aloneness, but never feel loneliness."

I guess he was right. Aloneless is simply being without anyone or anything else. Loneliness however, refer to dejected by the awareness of being alone. I was alone, but then started feeling lonely. The feeling of loneliness is anxiety provoking. Then I realized, I started scare of being alone...

As Dr Bacon mentioned in my class, everybody has his or her own "default way" to deal with anxiety and depress feelings. What is my "default way" to deal with my anxiety of being alone and lonely? Drinking? Shopping? I guess my default way scares myself a little bit.

Perhaps it's time for me to find a better way and healthier way to deal with my anxiety.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Pay for my thoughtlessness

I got a ticket today, just because I forgot today is Friday and I am suppose to park my car off the street from 8am to 12pm.

This is the law that "specially dedicated" to all Californian. There is a day in a week that has been chosen as "street cleaning day" and in certain hours, all the cars must off the street. Perhaps I was too lucky that there was always somebody helping me move my car on Friday morning. Not today though. Therefore ended up I had a ticket for $58. My mind started picturing certain things that I wanted to buy is flying away...

I have been so generous to the California state lately. I just "donate" about $500 few months ago for my "running red light's" ticket and now came another one. Yes, my heart is aching! 500USD can really buy me a lot of goodies. I haven't shopping for months but I am giving away my "sweat and blood" within seconds, for a stupid reason.

No more shopping, no more movies, no more dine out, Zoe!


Saturday, May 23, 2009

My Map

A good friend of mine, Soo Lee, has posted the world map in her blog and filled the red color for those countries she has visited. I find this is interesting and I created my own map.

First of all, look at the world map. It "looks like" I have visited a lot of countries but God knows I only visited 5 in total! Not even been to Thailand and Indonesia that are so close to my home country. And now I am in USA. Still, I do not grab the chance to visit Mexico and Canada and other surrounded countries since USA alone is big enough for me to discover. She has visited 18 states but her world map looked not "as red as" mine. LOL! I am lucky that I have been to Beijing once and this map made me like visited the whole China. And I just visited 19 states in US but the map made me visited Alaska as well! It is interesting tho.

visited 5 states (2.22%)

visited 17 states (34%)

For those of you who like to travel and have travelled around, why not make your own map and tell yourself someday, you are going to fill every single space RED! (It is not too hard as long as you make Russia, China, USA, India and Canada part of your travelling destinations. LOL)

P/S: I forgot to provide the website earlier on. Here is the place to visit to create your own map: Thanks Hoay Ming for reminding me.

Different Perspectives

I was in the restroom five minutes ago. As I was "doing my business", I read a notice sticked at the door saying "Ladis, Please do not turn off the fan. Thank you very much. :) "

The first thing I noticed, the word "ladies" was spelled incorrectly. The next thing came into my mind was "Hmmm... It is amazing that the writer get the rest of the words spelled correctly." Right after this thinking came into my mind, I was amaze by myself. I am saying this because I used to think "How could he or she got such an easy word spelled wrongly?" However, after I take a step back and look at things from different perspective, I then realized it can make a whole lot of difference.

Then I recall a story of "a black dot in a piece of white paper" told by my teacher when I was 11 years old. You might have heard this story before. One day, my teacher hold a piece of white paper with a little black dot in the middle of it and asked us what we saw. The whole class gave the same answer "A black dot." My teacher then said, "It seems like is a human nature that we tend to look the negative side of a thing rather than the positive side. None of you mentioned the white space in this paper but everybody just noticed the tiny black dot in this paper. Just like we tend to not appreciate a person's good part and take it for granted but always remember the imperfect part of that person."

Therefore I said I am impress by myself. I know I am a bit odd that a notice could make me think that much. I was not sacarstic but really impress when I see the rest of the words spelled correctly. The feeling is good when we know how to look at the good side of a thing and appreciate it.

Monday, May 18, 2009

A trip to San Diego (Part 2)

Hey guys! I know, I know, I know. I took way too long to update the photos for San Diego trip as I promised. That was because I need to get the inform consent from the photographer in order to cover my bud so that I am free from copyright infringement. (Just kidding. He is nice enough to let me show his works here.) The truth is, there are too many nice pictures and I have hard time screening all 200++ of them. Anyway, here we go again:

I like this picture because it does not look real. Sounds odd? Hmm.. I think this looks like it has been edited by using photoshop, cut and paste my image in the middle of flower field.

Another amazing picture. It is simply a good shot by showing the little path among the flowers. I love the zooming of this photo as the flowers were a little blur. It looks like the path was the main subject of this particular picture, but not the flowers.

Compare to the above pic, which one you like better?

I need to write something about this Sweet Pea Maze. It was a funny and embarassing experience. I saw a lot of people were playing this maze and I asked my friend to come along. For the first 15seconds after we entered the maze, I started complaining of how easy this maze was because it only has one path to follow. I thought this maze existed to cheat the little kid. After I finished my sentence, there were 3 split lanes appeared in front of us. My friend laughed out loud and said I made conclusion too early. He was right because we used approximately 15-20minutes to get out from this little maze. He couldn't stop teasing me. We took different paths from there and I lost for quite awhile. I looked at the exit, it was so near and yet so far away. Everytime when I thought I was moving towards the exit, I was actually reaching another dead end and kept going back to the same spot. Embarass and yet fun!
Yellow flowers and the blue sky!

Look at the rainbow colors and the busy crowd.

It was a beautiful blue sky holiday.
My friend is really good in taking close-up pics of flowers. Let me show you some of his amazing works.

Masterpiece! How amazing when one could capture this moment. The bees would not stand still and let you take your own sweet time to take their pic. He is really skillful. I would like to give him credit here. Thanks "Uncle Tom"! These photos shown were all taken by him. My camera was not good enough to take all these amazing pics. Or perhaps I should say I am not skillful enough? hehe! I am now looking forward for this Friday trip to Six Flags! Yes, Six Flags Magic Mountain in Southern California.

Saturday, May 9, 2009



在好多好多年以前,一位年仅12岁的美国小女孩 Anna Jarvis 在无意中听见自己的妈妈在星期天的礼拜课堂上透露自己的意愿:希望在一年当中的某一天能献给全天下的母亲,作为纪念与感怀她们所付出的一切。 当母亲在1905年过世时,Anna 开始了一连串的运动,希望能实现母亲生前的愿望。她写了不少的信件给政治人物、企业家以及宗教领导人物,终于在1914年,当时的美国总统Woodrow Wilson 宣布五月的第二个星期天为母亲节。


然后,我看见了一篇由Louisa Taylor 写的文章(原文见此。她说与其在这样的日子“商业化”地庆祝母亲节,不如写一封信,告诉母亲心里的话,好好地在这个日子感念她为你所付出的,母亲会更感动。我个人觉得非常有意思。我可以开车出去选一件礼物,那可能会花半小时的时间和一些钱。我也可以坐下来,慢慢回忆过去的岁月,母亲究竟为我付出了多少,然后将心里的感激与感动,化成文字,真心地对妈妈说声“谢谢你”,那不需要花钱,可是却可能费了我好半天,甚至一整天的时间去回忆,然后一一用文字记录下来。我不知道妈妈会更喜欢我怎么做,可是我觉得后者真的会让我真心地度过原来的母亲节真正的涵义。所以,我决定给妈妈写一封信。
















完成后,更能明白Louisa Taylor 说给母亲写封信的用意。因为我心里是满满的感动,而那感动是无法一一化为文字的,或许是我中文造诣不够好。也因为在写信的过程中,许多温馨的画面都浮现脑海。对母亲说的“我爱你”,更是真正从心里深处最深的感动所说出的。所以,今年的我虽然不在母亲身边,但是我觉得我比起往年在她身边时过得更合乎母亲节原有的意义。妈咪,我希望你能感受到千里之外我对你的思念和爱。也希望全天下的母亲:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...