There was a Father's Day celebration in my house last night. My house were full of people eating hotpot together at the garage. I am currently living with a family of six persons: elderly parents, a son, a daughter and her husband together with their six-year-old daughther. I am the only outsider in this family but they treat me real nice, as if I am part of the family. I really feel I am the lucky one.
I remember long time ago, I blogged about a very important person that I met in the US and his beloved children. If it is not because of him, I would not meet such a wonderful family that I am living with now. He treated me like his sister and in my heart, he is truely like my big brother (since I do not have any biological elder brother in my life). And because of him, everybody call me "sister", including his parents-in-law! That is funny.
About ten months ago, a very good friend of mine who came to study together with me decided to go back to Malaysia due to some personal reasons. We used to live together, went to school together, ate together, slept together and almost did everything together, until she left. I started worry about the rental and the life that I need to continue here by myself. And then my brother, introduced me to his in-laws family and a nice room ^_^ I always feel thankful to him. Because of this family, I do not feel alone. Because of this family, I have chance to celebrate Chinese New Year and some other important festivals. I certainly know if I never met him and his family, I would be very lonely and all by myself, especially during special occasions. They are just like my second family, thousand miles away from my hometown.
This is a very close-knit family. If I am not mistaken, the parents have six grown children. Therefore everytime when they have party, my house will be FULL of people, literally full of people. Imagine all five children came back home with their spouses and children... Wow! And then the kids ran everywhere while the adults having fun playing cards or Mah Jong. Occasionally, you will hear kid's screaming, crying, yelling, and laughing (which is extremely normal). At that moment, I suddenly understand why my parents want me to go home so badly. I feel warm when I see them gather together. Like it or not, they are family. This is their root, their loved ones and their protection, if anything ever happened. I remembered my mom told me once, "Just come home, child. If you were to marry and have your own family so far away, if there were anything happened to you or your marriage, you have nothing there... But, you have your home here, a home that always opens the door and welcome you, no matter what happen."
My paternal grandparents have seven children. I remembered when I was little and my grandparents were still alive, we went to their house to celebrate CNY every year. I remembered feeling bored because all my cousins are either too old or too young to play with me. Now, I know it is a blessing when I am able to celebrate together with any of them, especially my grandparents, since they have passed.
Sometimes I wonder whether I should stay here longer to pursue my dream or just go back home right after I got my Master degree. My parents have three children and I am the only daughter in the family. I can understand their eagerness of wanting me back home. Putting my own dreams, needs, together with their expectations and wishes on top of the scales and weight, I still do not sure the answer. I do not want to stay here longer with the guilty feeling haunting me every now and then, and I do not want to go back home with the regrets following me for the rest of my life. Anyway, I will save this conflict till August to talk to my parents when I back home. I hope I will get my answer and decision by then.
This blog is about this special family that have a special position in my life. I feel truely thankful to them. Regardless of where I would be in the future, they will always be in my heart. I know when I think of any of them, my heart would always full of gratitude and warmth.
6 comments:
It's glad to hear that you are leading a great life, at least people you met are nice to you! I can understands what do you mean by regrets and the guilt. However, do what you feel like and feel no regrets. I believed you will make a right choice which you think is best for you and even people around you. Whatever the choices are, you have my supports...always!!! Take care my friend.
Follow ur heart..do watever u can do now wit no regret..take care..=)
Thanks girls! I will be fine. I know I have to make decision sooner or later and after I have decided, I would not turn back. You girls make great points. Thanks for always be there for me :)
Count Down 30 days.. :D
with 7 days quarantine...
**oops**
Arrggggg... You are stabing another sharp knife right into my heart!! Cruel... Perhaps I should add on 7 days in my count down?? :P
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