Change!

It is 12.02am now. I log in to a web page which is privately belongs to UTAR 2006 Journalism 2 students. Then I read a very long message posted by a very good friend of mine, Kai Ling, a very intelligent and smart girl. I copy the entire message that she typed and post it here. I hope she doesn't mind and would not sue me for copyright infringement. Hehe! :P Anyway, I still want to clarify that the use of her words are for non-profit purposes and to share the good things with my friends. Here it goes:

"Yoke Han, I am sorry to hear what you have experience. Thanks for sharing with us. Hope you are doing good there. And I used to believe this, kind hearted people will always be blessed. You always have my blessing although I am far away from you.
Joan, I don’t think I am able to meet you since I am still working in Virginia. Sorry…There was a Chinese aying that meeting an old friend in some where else is one of the four greatest things in life. Ish...miss the chance to meet you in this opportunity land. Hope you have fun here.
Mei Lui, Congrats for your moving. You are still thinking about the job search? Perhaps you should just follow you heart to do the things you want to do. Maybe we should not care too much about the resume or the working experience. Erm…Sorry if I say irresponsible answer like this. However, I just feel like think too much will only limit what you can done. I got faith on you. You are good enough to look for another job.
Yunn Ru, a lot of movie stars always end up keep fit with doing a lot of exercises, perhaps you want to try that? Erm…I dunno…I never try too..hee hee…
Chin Eng, Congrats you finally get your approval letter to study here..Erm…I always talk on phone with you…hee hee
Ah Pok, I wish I have someone to be with me especially when I upset here. I can feel the weight of loneliness when I was down. Well, there must be someone deserves my waiting right?! Hehee… at least I got you all to think about. I really miss you all a lot.
Well, how is everyone doing? I truly hope that you are doing good in everything there. Although there is always something happens to bother us, there are life experiences. They will only make you stronger and capable. I am working in a summer job here to gather fund for myself to pursuit my dream.
Lit Han, perhaps you want to imagine what will make you happy and willing to share with your grandchildren when you are old. How much money you earn/how hard you work to get promoted or some “adventures” you have experience. Of course, working hard, earn money and get promoted is also a challenge especially for a guy in life and it is also an adventure too. However, we are still young; we have the assets to take the gambling. Its only depends on you.
And then there is also question, what if I regret on what I choose when I am old. Well, there will no answer. Its only depends on how you look at things. Choose what you love and love what we choose right?! I had discussed this with my friend for a long time. They envy that I have no family burden and even got a sister in US to be my back up. They never know that what we need is just the braveness. If you die die also want to accomplish something, there must be a way. Chin Eng had already made it. Ah Pok, sometimes maybe you just no need to think or plan so much. Just go ahead what you want to do.
Well, its nearly 6am here. I got to sleep so that I wont fell asleep in Sunday meeting. You guys take good care! See you!"

She said that her friends "envy that I have no family burden and even got a sister in US to be my back up". I was once had the same thinking as her friends do. I always thought that those of my friends who can go overseas are so lucky to have somebody there and I would never have chance to make it because I do not have anybody out there is any other country to wait for me as back up. Now I can said it loudly, "That is a very lousy excuse!!!" Nobody in this world can stop you if you really want to do something. Even if the door closes, you would surely find another hundred and thousand of other ways to get in if you really want to get in. And now, the door is not even close. Those people still have such excuse saying that "because I do not have a sister to back me up???" No one in this world could stop you from doing something except yourself.

I wonder why there are so many people in this world want to think so much and end up doing nothing in life but just dreaming. Erm.. no offense to anybody but just want to point out the fact as I was one of them. I WAS, but no more. If I keep that attitude then I won't participate in the program that I am in now. If I think too much then my dream of experiencing life and studing at a far far away country would always remain as dream in the day time (day dreaming). I am not trying to say that I am doing great now but for what I’ve chosen, I never regret. If the clock turns back and give me another 100000 chances to change, I will stil make the same decision that I’ve made. I might not as rich as you guys, I might not achieve the greatest things like u guys, I might not having a wonderful career but the experiences that I gain and the other point of view in life that I earn are definitely the most precious thing that I have never had before!

Before I came I told my friends around me about this program. They gave me billions pails of “cold water”. “What if people torture you?” “Don’t you know they only need a maid and they would treat you like one?” “Do you think you can handle the kids?” “ Do you really think this is a good program to go?” “What if the host dad rape you?” “Why must you wanna go there so badly and so rush? If you really wanna go there just to study, why not you earn some money for few years before you go then you can support yourself without going through this program…”

All sorts of questions and suggestions, I can't even remember half of them. I am not saying they are bad. I know they cared for me. They really are. Just that I refuse to think so much. If we need to prepare so many IFs everyday, I don’t think we can carry on our life.

Would you think of these questions everyday when you wake up every morning?
“What if today on the way I go to work I being run over by a car? What if somebody snatch my bag? What if the snatch theft kills me? What if I really die? What if I being rape and then killed?” All these things might happen, as you know the situation in Malaysia better than I do. So much worry, would you stop yourself from going out? Hmm…. I doubt!
Therefore the same thing occur here. When I decided to join this program, so many “what if” surrounded me. That’s why a lot of my friends were interested in the program and have the intention to do something to change their lives as they really do not like their current lives. However after talked to their friends and families, they gave up. I can totally understand the hardship of facing the unknown future and the refuse of changing if possible.

Well, what I am trying to say here is, if you really don’t like your current life, current job, current habit, it’s time to change. You don’t have to envy or admire other people’s life. You can have yours, too. Of course, what you need is some courage. Or, your enthusiasm to life. ;)

Take Care My Friend...

I just back from Newark Airport hours ago. It took me 5 hours driving all together. I went there because I need to take Chia to catch a flight to Atlanta. Airport, a place that always make me sad...(so far)

This is the fifth time I went there. The very 1st time I went there was to get Chia when she flew all the way from CA to celebrate Christmas with me in Beaverkill and Princeton. Then I took her there a week later to fly back to CA. The 3rd time was because I went to Carribean with my host family and we departed and landed at Newark Airport as well. The fifth time, I sent Chia away once again...

We hugged each other at the entrance gate before she left. I am sure both of us don't like this feeling. The scene of seperating, again and again. It's sucks!! My feeling turning worse when I back to Beaverkill. I feel so empty, including now... We weren't talk much these few days but at least I could see her walking here and there in the house even though we had nothing much to do and say. But now she'd gone, after spending more than two weeks time together.

You gotta take good care my friend, no matter what happen. You have to hang tide no matter how hard the situation turn to be. Life is never easy but it doesn't mean it is always tastes bitter. You said you want your life to have four seasons and that's why you named yourself SEASON. I think now it is a period of changing season for you, and mine is not far away...

I miss you so much here, especially with this empty house and "scarily quiet" environment. Will see you soon.

Oh...Oh...Oh...

It's been awhile since my last post. I am going to leave this house in the 3rd of August. I have bought the airticket to Atlanta and then going to North Carolina to meet KaiLing, a very good friend of mine whom has not seeing each other for more than a year.

I have started to pack my stuff, a little by little. The feeling just like 8 months ago when I was packing to leave my home. Now I am going to leave, again, to the unknown future. It is kind of interesting and I am sure it is going to be really adventurous. The feeling of leading a new life is cool, although feel a little nervous sometimes.

Chia, who now known as Season, is going to leave next Tuesday to Atlanta from my house. She is going to stay there for a couple of weeks then both of us are going to fly to California. It is good in someway because by then we can tell the whole world that we have been staying at several places and experience very different kind of lifestyle. Hehe! However, it is very troublesm, too. Especially with those luggages... And real life challenges...

I am going to Beaverkill at New York tomorrow to stay there for a couple of weeks, or maybe a month. Now it's summer vacation and there has great summer camp for kids and that's why my host mom wants me to stay at the beautiful country house there with kids. It is a beautiful place to stay for a couple of days but not weekS though because it is a very quiet place with not much entertainment.

Anyway, "I am leaving, on a Jetplane, I don't know when I'll be back again..."

Bid Farewell & Good Luck

It is almost time to say goodbye, again. Sometimes that's what life is all about, saying "hi" and then "bye", and "hi" again then... People call it 'the circle of life'.

I recall half a year ago I left my beloved family and friends.

I said goodbye to my fellow Toastmaster Club members.


I said goodbye at the fairwell parties.


I said goodbye at the airport.


Then, I said hi to my host family.




Now, I have to bid farewell to two gorgeous girls who are leaving US next month. I have known them since I am here and they are really kind-hearted and being so nice to me. They are going to complete the program and fly back to their home country very soon...
They are YiLing from Malaysia and Jan from Thailand. We have had good time together and I believe we will see each other again in the future. Good luck girls.



And later, it's time to say goodbye to my host family. I always feel so blessed to know them and able to join their family. I always complain the kids to Chia whenever I have hard time with them. I thought it would be good to leave them until today...

I sent Harriet, the little girl who always need a lot of attention and being demanding, to summer camp at her school this morning. She went down from the car and said goodbye to me. I looked at her walking towards the door with her back facing me. Out of the sudden, I realised that I actually love her. The feeling of love is growing unknowingly all this while and I never realise it until it is almost time to leave. Of course, I love the artistic, independent and gentle little 9-year-old boy, Woods, too. I never know the feeling can grow this fast and deep. I cannot imagine when the actual leaving day comes...

My host parents, the best Americans that I ever know. They are too good to be true. :)

Meanwhile, Chia and I are preparing to move on to our future. We still have a lot of things to work on. Challenges are waiting in front. We need courage to face them all.

Although I have to leave different people that I love again and again, but I know there is still a person whom I always hold hands with, no matter what is it waiting in front of us.
Chia, can you see that? I can see the palm trees in California now...

Up and Down

Another regular morning. I am sitting in the kitchen as usual and watching drama online. It is late spring and almost summer now but today's weather is cold. It has been always 70 degree Fahrenheit and above for last few weeks until yesterday, it hits the new low of about 50F. It reminds me of winter when I was first here. It has been more than six months since I am here...

Half a year, six months, 200 days. Without my realising, time flies. Looking back to these days, what have I done? I am in my early twenties now but what am I doing here? I heard and read some news from my ex classmates and it seems that they are doing real good. They are able to afford their own cars, they have enough money to "temporary retire" for few months and travel abroad, they have their own CAREER and moving closer to their dreams each day. What do I have? What have I achieved? I cannot afford to spend another six months for this...

~~~~~~~~

I was so down and couldn't even continue writing this. I stopped and called a friend. Thanks a lot Jacky, I feel much better after talking to you. You are right, treasure every moment that I have and always think positively. I have learned all these long time ago but sometimes just forgot and focus on the wrong side of an issue. Thanks for reminding me the purpose of life is to live to the fullest, no matter under what circumstances.

I am able to smile again :)

Adventurous Trip to SIX FLAGS

I used to watch Discovery Channel with my little brother when I was in Malaysia. There are a few times we got to watch the program talking about the roller coasters. We were so excited and kept on saying they are so scary and thought that we were going to have heart attack if we went up there. Besides, we used to play a PC game named "Roller Coasters Tycoon" and built our own theme park with different kinds of thrill rides. I never thought of I would have the chance to get on to the real and exactly the same roller coasters as we built in the tycoon game.

There is a worker man who is working in construction at my foster family's house, told me about a place which is only 40 minutes away from my house. It is Great Adventure Park of Six Flags. He showed me all the thrilling rides and suggested me to go there. I said it was a crazy idea and it was impossible for me to get on any of those rides. I told Chia about it but I never know that she could get so excited and insisting to go there. OMG, Chia...

Then... We went!

Yes, two of us. ONLY two of us.

When we got there, we saw those crazy rides were at least 10 storeys height of a building. I told Chia it was impossible for me to get in to any of those rides. Chia said I am "chicken"! Hey, guess what? She was the one who refused to get on to some rides later on and I was the one who became braver and kept on encouraged her. Haha!

Here are some photos of those rides and we got on to some of them. It was weekend and so crowded. Basically we need to queue for an hour for a ride.





Like my mom always said, "Why you guys like to pay and yet torturing yourselves with those rides?" She is right. Chia and I were so scared but yet kept on encouraging each other to get on to those thrill rides. I do not know whether you have the same experience but everytime when we were queueing for a ride, there are always a lot of conflicts and struggle. We were so nervous and apprehensive but still, we wanted to get on to those rides.

This was our first ride right after we got in the park. Its name was "Batman & Robins". It was a super fast ride with 70mph (about 120kmph) and 20 stories elevation. I couldn't believe that I actually got on to it. It was super fun though.



It only took less than one minute for this ride. It was really fast. We feel relief after we got down. Then we headed for the second ride, third, fourth...







Besides those rides, the park is really a beautiful place. Here are some photos taken at kids' park.





There are people who being hired to wear those fancy clothes as the characters of the cartoons (most of them from Acme Hour, Cartoon Network).




The "Golden Kingdom" of the park was an extremely beautiful place. I love there a lot.




There was a wooden roller coaster named "El Toro" in this kingdom and Chia said it was the scariest ride among those rides that we were on. This El Toro was the roller coaster that I used to build in the PC tycoon game. It was exactly the same.


There are still places that we have no time to go and play. Therefore we are going to back there again. I believe it won't take too long for us to revisit there. It was such an excitement and adventurous trip! If you were the fans of roller coasters, this is the place that you MUST go, at least once in a life time.

Bartending

I have been going to bartending school for the last two weeks. I do not feel right if I do not write anything about it.

It was like three weeks ago when Chia suddenly called me and said, "Zoe, do you know that bartender can earn quite a lot? Maybe we should try this job when we finish our aupair life..." Then she told me she found a few bartending schools in different areas. I immediately have very high interest in this topic and started doing the research about bartending schools. I called to a few schools and ask the fees and schedules. Finally, I found one which is really "worth" (cheapest) among all of the others and it was just about 25minutes away from my house. I went for interview and being accepted, and then I started my student life. At least I am able to change my status to a "to-be bartender" instead of "aupair".

For your information, I like to drink. I only drink everytime when I meet with Chia. I need to emphasize this, just for your understanding. I do not like to drink alone and I am not addicted to drink at all. I just like to drink when I meet with friends, especially good friends. Chia is a "Drinking Queen" now as compare with last time. She can drink more and more and hard to get drunk.

Everytime whenever we went out for a drink, we do not know what to order, even with a menu. We would look at the menu for a long long time and simply called one. Even after we ordered some drinks, we have no idea what is it looks like, how it tastes and what are the ingredients inside. I feel excited when I have the chance to know more about liquors, cordials and the knowledge of mixology. I am now got to know what kind of liquors or cordials inside the drinks whenever I order them. I know different kind of juice drinks, sour drinks, creme drinks, martini and manhattan, ice tea drinks, layered drinks, blended drinks, drinks on the rocks and many more. It was exiting to know all these but not for the exam though.

I have to memorise more than 100 different kinds of drink receipes. I need to take both written and practical test before I can get my certificate for being a bartender. Besides the receipes, I need to know different kinds of liquors like Whiskey (American, Bourbon, Canadian, Irish and Scotch), Vodka, Tequila, Brandy (Cognag), Gin and Rum. Those are six basic liquors which there are still a lot of different brands and different kinds of liquors under them. Besides, I need to know different kinds of Cordials, the origin of the cordials and their flavors. These are really killing me! Anyway, I am really have high interest in them so the studying process is not as hard.

After going to school for two weeks time and completed my 40 hours of practical and lecture, I finally have the chance to take my test today. I was just on time today to take my exam because I needed to rush to McCaffrey to get more cup cakes for the kid's birthday (which is uncessary but being asked to do so anyway) at the early morning. I then being stopped by the police because of speeding. Luckily he was a nice guy and just giving me a warning. (This was the 5th time I was being stop by the police since I am here in US) Because I was just on time, I had no time to study when I got there.

The passing marks for written test is 84%. We need to retake the exam if we get the marks lower than that. For the practical part, we cannot make more than four mistakes. (If you happen to mix only one wrong liquor or cordial into a drink, you are considered making one mistake) Besides remembering the receipes, we still need to know what glassware to use, what garnish to put and the way of making them. There is a session which required us to make shots, about 2 to 8 shots. In this session, we need to make the drinks in mixing glass and then pour into tin before pouring into the shot glasses. The challenge of this part is that the amount of the liquor need to be just full for the shot glasses, not more or less. Sounds hard? Oh ya!

The good news is, I pass!! I am so happy that I do not need to retake. My result was consider good compare with those "guai lou". At least I could make every given drinks with only some minor mistakes. (Not more than three minor mistakes and none of the drinks were wrong. Yeah!) Please just give me some space to express my happiness here.. At least this is a very good news for me after all these while... Hehe!