True Love

I watched a movie named "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" on plane when I flew back to US from Malaysia. Last night for some reason, I watched it again. Every time when I repeated some movies, I always get different messages. When I watched it again last night, the message that stands out for me is “Love is taking risks, but it worth taking”.

Today when I was lying on my bed trying to take a nap, this thought came into my mind, “The older we grow, the more timid we become.” We lose the courage of giving our loves unconditionally as we used to be when we were young. Especially for those who were in the relationships but they turned out meeting the wrong persons; they do not give their love easily. At some points, they close their hearts and lose the ability to recognize the right person.

I can understand the reasons people close their hearts as I was one of them, perhaps I still am. Being in a relationship that is not working can be so painful when separated. Whoever been through this probably understands better what I mean. Then when we meet another person in life that might be the right person for us, we either hold back our feelings, tell ourselves not to give too much, or we completely back off. Unfortunately when we try to protect ourselves by doing so, we unknowingly sabotage the potential relationship that might work well and push away the opportunity for the true love to grow. We longed for the intimate relationship that can last but then we tell ourselves we are not going to take this relationship seriously. Because “in case” he or she is not the right one for me, I can back off easily by not giving in too much.

By holding back our love in a relationship, we are not providing a strong foundation for a lasting relationship to grow. And when we cannot let go the past with the forgiveness not only to our ex partners, but also forgiving ourselves for the mistakes, we are holding our hurts and for some people, the resentment. Then when we started a new relationship, the memory of the past will keep coming back and haunt us. Then, we unknowingly repeat the behaviors and thinking that we did for the past relationships that are not working. Eventually, we are repeating the history.

When I am writing this, I remember a guy that I met last Thursday in a restaurant. This is a very special guy that inspired me, named Alex. He was very talkative and he was leading mostly all the conversation the whole night. He has good sense of humor and made everybody laugh the whole night. The reason of me writing about him is because of a statement that he made, “Marriage is so wonderful. When you find the right person, it is just awesome. When you are in the process of finding, it is like hell!”

At first when I heard him saying this, I was thinking, “Hmm… this guy must be just in a relationship or just married.” Later on when he disclosed that he has married for 14 years, I was stunned. I have seen a lot of sweet couples around me, as sweet as they can be. I do not have much feeling when I see them hugging, kissing and touching each other in front of the public or doing some sweet things like feeding each other etc. The situation that can deeply touch my heart is when I see old couples with white hair and hands full of wrinkles but still holding each other’s hands tight. For the whole night, he can’t stop talking about his wife and how wonderful she is. Some guys I have met, they do not even care to wear their wedding rings after 2 years of marriage.
I am happy for Alex for being able to find the love of his life. They are both lucky. Later on he told me that his parents are now over 70 years old but still give each other morning kiss everyday when they wake up, still holding hands wherever they go, I was so touched. His father said to him, “The only thing that I care about in this world, son, is your mom.” How wonderful!

And I truly agree with his saying. The process of finding the other half for our lives is really sucks. It took a lot of courage and it can be so painful when we thought we found one, but things turned out to be the opposite way.

Love might be a mistake, might mean taking chances. Is it worth taking?

When I see Alex, when I heard the story of his parents, I think it really worth taking. Is the eternity love exists in this world? Would I able to find the one that’s right for me? It is all about faith and courage. I would not stop my effort in recognizing my Mr. Right. How about you?